It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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