i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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