i don't plan on having that self control this summer
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
