Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
