I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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