That's when you crack a 10am beer
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
