I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
