If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
