I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
