u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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