she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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