oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
