We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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