My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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