wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
