you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
