I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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