i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so let's talk penis.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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