so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
