You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
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I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
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Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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