am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
