btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
