Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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