Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
