In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
