nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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