I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
