gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
