I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ttyl tear gas
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
