it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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