omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
