My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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