You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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