I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Randomize
