sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
People in love make me want to vomit
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
