I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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