You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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