Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have aggressive nipples.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
