My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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