Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As shirtless as possible
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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