I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
