I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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