Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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