I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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