I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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