haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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