remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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