i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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