and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize