the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
