I am spending my child support on dildos
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
