Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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