Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
