Just cropdusted the office
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
