It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
